Secret diary of a Manchester United Fan……

May – Sir Alex Ferguson (Fergie, lovingly or not, called) announces retirement.

It’s a sad sad day in the club’s history. But maybe it was time that good ol’ Fergie hung up his boots. That ego of his was starting to cost us big time. In any case Sir, You shall be missed.

June – David Moyes takes over as the manager of Manchester United.

What ? No Mourinho, No Klopp, not even fuck*** Martinez ? David Moyes? Really? Or maybe he could be good. He did manage Everton successfully on a shoe-string budget. Without winning anything, but hey, it was a shoe-string budget. He didn’t defeat any big teams but so what. Did I mention he had a show-string budget to manage upon ?

July – The Transfer Window

Thiago ? Fabregas? Fuck Yeah. This guy knows we are shabby in midfield. Thank God we finally got a manager who has balls to go for bigger players. This is gonna be so good.

August – Transfer Window Closes

The hell did just happen ? Why are you constantly nagging players who don’t want to leave their clubs ? Atleast get us Herrera.  No? Ok, Fellaini then. What a freaking disaster this window was. Atleast we signed somebody. On deadline day. For 4 mill more. Ahh f**k it. Atleast we kept Rooney. And we won that cup that nobody gives two shits about. This might eventually be good.

September – Loses to City, Pool and West Brom

This f*cker has no idea what he is doing, does he. But we should give him some time. The fixture list has been iffy. And players injured. Winning the league can still be possible.

October – 3 Wins in the league and good start to champions league

What a shrewd tactical genius Moyes is. Let’s call him the “Moyesiah”. We are playing well considering Moyes has hardly ever been part of champions league.

November – Beat Arsenal

Hell we beat Arsenal. 1-0 at home. This is good. It seems Fergie knew what he was doing afterall. Good gracious. Moyesiah is the Chosen One.

December – Loss against Everton, Newcastle. Wins against minnows

Well, we got through a busy Christmas period. Atleast we are still in the hunt. Despite others having an awesome season and us having a bad one, we are still just 7 points off the top. We can beat ’em. We can win.  We are United.

January.

MotherF*cker. This David f*cking Moyes. Why don’t you find a clun that suits your standards. Juan f*ckin Mata. You got Mata and you played him off the right flank. You twat.  Did that awesome beard of his deserve such shallow treatment. Beaten by freaki* Stoke. First time in 30 odd years. 2/3rd of season gone and still 7 points off the 4th spot. You better give us results or face the music.

…To Be Continued.